In this video, I describe the most difficult decision of my life - the decision to report suspected abuse of my niece by my brother. Having grown up in an abusive home, the one thing my brother and sister agreed upon was to avoid repeating the abuse we experienced from our parents. The last thing we could imagine was being accused or suspected of abusing another person. I believed that Child Protective Services could investigate a matter without causing any problems for our family. My brother never spoke to me again and I wasn't invited to visit on Christmas again because my parents preferred to see their grandson and granddaughter. Perhaps, my cousins and other relatives knew this would happen to them if they reported the abuse that my sister, brother and I experienced growing up. Like myself, they needed an uncle. I had an aunt myself and had told her many times about the abuse (having been assaulted by my mother and father) over the years. I was hoping that something could be done. Maybe they knew that reporting the abuse would alienate them from my parents and make it impossible for them to see us and know we were okay. I know that one of our cousins did take to Child Protective Services about us when we were living in Connecticut. I don't remember being interviewed by the Social Services agency - the Child Protective Services division of the agency. Knowing that Child Protective Services is hesitant to report suspected abuse, I had no reason or belief that my report would amount to anything.
I was reported suspected abuse with no certainty that abuse actually was occurring. I just asked the agency to look into the matter. If someone had reported Bruce Whealton Sr. or Kathleen Whealton (my father and my mother) they would have had a criminal record. I would have been more than willing to tell them about the abuse - the many times we were assaulted. My mother and father would have been charged with assault on a minor - an assault on a girl and a boy. No one made that call.
I made a call when I saw what I considered abuse and harm to my niece. I did not intend to harm my brother, but I did tell the truth. I just wanted them to look into the matter. The police got involved. I don't have any idea what was traumatic or hurtful to the family by this action by me to protect my niece. I just know that I could see on her face what I had felt as a child, over and over and over... that look that seemed like despair as well as hope that I would do something. I tried. I called the Virginia Child Protective Services. I just wanted to be sure that the children were safe.
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